Family Matters Most

It has been a while since I have posted. In that time I have gone through a whirlwind of things. To be honest, I am ashamed of some things. I have strayed away from what I know is right and lost focus of many of the things in my previous posts. I think I have been running from some things I know to be true and unwilling to let God have complete control of some areas of my life. I am so blessed to have such a godly wife and wonderful support who has encouraged me. I am just ashamed that I have not been that to her like I should have been.

Recently God has been working very hard to get my full attention and that is really what I want to share. A few weeks ago my wife said something to me that struck me as odd. It was odd that I, Daniel, was hearing this from my wife. I am a good guy and always there for my family and working hard for them. What the problem is , I somehow let things enter my life and come back that had changed who I was and what I was becoming. It pearced my heart like an arrow and was the beginning of this abrupt turn in my life. Shortly thereafter I heard the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real that talks about how my wife and children want me to lead and it is my job to protect, give them security and not only lead them but lead them as God desires. I can't do that by being more worried about myself or by being selfish. It is my job to lay down my life for them; not just in the literal sense but daily as I lead them to follow God with all their heart.

Last week there was a speaker at our church named Robert Rogers. Seven years ago he lost his entire family in a flash flood accident within moments. When faced with this unimaginable circumstance he had a choice to make and he trusted God's complete power and plan for his life. I thought- "if he can do that then I can certainly live better than I am". I started reading his book and it has changed me. What most hit me though was the statement on the back of his bookmark. It reads- "Cherish your Children. Work to Live. Don't Live to Work. No one is guaranteed tomorrow."- Robert Rogers

I was at kids camp most of this week and boy oh! boy was God working on me! When I read that I broke down completely. I am a man of living to work and had been missing the boat. All of the sudden it seemed real- all that has been going on in my house was because of my selfish leadership. My kids were becoming different (not in a good way) and my wife was feeling like I was leaving her in behind and had developed anxiety because of it. I have been hurting her and really not even seeing it. My attitude had changed. I wasn't even excited about our baby boy that is on his way and that was hurting her too. Sure, I faked it, but I wasn't genuinely excited. How sad is that! Well, God had in His plan for my life to wake me up to this and I am so grateful. I, by His grace, am not going to be one of those guys that goes down this path and finds himself leaving his wife and scarring the future of his kids as so many do. God has clearly called me to be different in ever sense of the word. I dropped to my knees and got right with God for so many things. Before I could even get up it was like I had a new mission in life and my family was first. We would live for and follow God's plan no matter what that meant from this day forward and I knew it would not be easy. I have seen God working in our lives for years now and it is all leading somewhere that I do not know yet.

If I had to say at this point what my future holds- I couldn't. But, I know it isn't going to be what I think. It have had the misconception that I should know where I am going to be in 5 years but was set straight through a series of events these past few weeks. I have lost my desire for the material and wordly stuff in the way I have had it. Is it nice- sure! Would I give every single thing of it up to do God's Will for my life- IN A HEARTBEAT! I am not joking.

I came home from camp and committed a new relationship to my family and God that I have never done before. I have focused on doing things just about the opposite of what I have been doing and it has already made an impact. Somehow through all of this God has burnt a desire for my wife and kids in my life that is hard to put into words.

I am His and will follow His direction. By the grace and power of God I hope I can be an encouragement to everyone around me and be the husband and father that my family deserves. What more is there in life that counts in the end?